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October Newsletter
Notes From Saunterre's Camp, Granville, Vt. October 20, 2006 on the 100th Anniversary of My Father's Birth
By Molly Reno
Two weeks ago, we began an adventure together sharing an intense week supported by the exquisite beauty of nature undisturbed.
Our time was marked by expansiveness and the generosity of Matt and Roz opening their home, the meals lovingly prepared by Kat and Natasha, the attentive gaze of Sean, Saunterre, Connie, Kara, Lindsay, Matt and myself and the gift each of you contributed in making a fearless inventory of past hurts which currently cause you to contract from the gift of this one precious life that we now know is time limited.
Together we ventured into the dark recesses of pain we buried by necessity in order to survive our childhoods and perform the tasks of early adulthood. In exhuming our past, we answered the midlife summons of the soul to move into a larger expression of life by re-experiencing our early betrayals and hurts which we now know lie stored on our bodies and in our psyches, and releasing them. We undertook psychic surgery for the sake of stepping into greater freedom and aliveness forged from a more authentic connection to self and others.
As you return to daily life comprised of the patterns you identified during the retreat, is our week together beginning to fade like a distant dream?
Is the intimacy of sharing truths, laughter and tears in the company of what one person described as the closest friends she ever made in her life, beginning to seem as unreal as a mirage?
Are the old patterns which comprise "business as usual" gaining ground and beginning to seem like the "real" world while the retreat grows increasingly unreal?
If so, you are not alone.
I invite each of you to reach back and re-examine the moments during the retreat when you felt most alive and discover the genesis of your aliveness. Did these moments come during a burst of creativity writing haiku or photographing your experience? Did the aliveness come from immersion in nature or re-examining childhood pain avoided all these many years? Did your sense of aliveness quicken in the telling of your deepest truths, the sharing of tears or laughter?
Was it the morning readings or meditation or yoga or standing as a warrior fearlessly confronting the fears that hold you back from deeper connection with others? Perhaps your deeper connection with self came from knowing your limits and honoring yourself by choosing to not participate in an exercise. Or did your sense of aliveness come from some other experience or combination of experiences?
Whatever the source of your deeper connection to self, to life, know it, mine it, squeeze forth its juices and by all means revisit it often.
During the retreat, we spoke of practices to continue developing the observer self which allows us to see our patterns and exercise choice in any given moment as opposed to being run by our patterns. These are practices I find helpful.
- Awareness of Breath and Returning to Center: When I become aware that I have been grabbed, I focus on my breath and mindfully return to calm and deep breathing. I relax the tension in my body which for me often lives in my arms. I soothe myself with my breath and return to clearer seeing.
- Journaling: I try to begin my day with "morning pages" which means 3 pages of automatic writing of my stream of consciousness.
- Spiritual Reading: I try to begin my day with 10 or 15 minutes of spiritual reading which reminds me "I am a spiritual being having a human experience". (Saunterre included some resources in the Readings and Rituals and Creativity Manual.)
- Yoga: While 45 minutes of morning yoga is my ideal, even doing 1 pose mindfully before leaving the house helps to center me in my body.
- Meditation: Using a kitchen timer, I try to sit in meditation for 15 minutes each morning.
I try to schedule my spiritual practices at the beginning of my day so I can benefit from them all day.
May we always remain witnesses for each other as we continue on our paths.
Namaste,
Molly
Upcoming Events
October29
Connie will be speaking at the 3rd Annual Breast Cancer Retreat
Anne Arundel Hospital Breast Cancer Center in Annapolis
December 3, 1-3pm
Reunion at Betty Adler's home in Bethesda
6101 Shady Oak Lane
Please mark it on your calendar and get back to Connie by the end of October
Both A Witness And A Participant
By Rosalind Gorin
My usual connection to the Retreats is to come to the closing session on Sunday mornings and listen to the miracle of participants talking about why they came and what they got out of the experience. These moments always move me deeply, and it is a privilege for me to be in the space of so much honesty and so much determination.
The last Retreat was very different for me. Matthew invited me to be a witness for the week instead of just an observer at the end. The role of a witness is not without challenge. First, a witness must build trust with the participants just as the leaders and all of the support people must do. I was forced to think about how I might conduct myself so that my presence would not be an obstacle to learning and so that the women would feel comfortable that I was there. I focused on being present, on being quiet (which is not my normal operating mode) and on being a space rather than a force.
Matthew and I decided that we would define my role clearly by having me sit outside the circle. While the participants accepted this without question, some members of the staff resisted the idea, wanting me to be, from their point of view, more intimately involved, more a member of the group. In reflecting back, I think this was another example of Matthew's wisdom. And, by the way, I was a member of the group anyway.
The role of witness can actually be a powerful part of the Retreat as I learned during the week. A witness holds space for people in a way that is different from leaders or other participants. A witness is present to note, to declare silently that an event, a practice, an experience is happening. A witness brings another dimension of energy to the commitment of the participants, to give themselves fully over to the process of the Retreat 100%, for the sake of the learning, the release, and the peace which can be produced.
In a certain way, each Retreat participant is a witness for every other participant as well, and I saw that also. When one person is experiencing a process, talking about a photograph she has taken, reading a piece she has written, the silent attention of everyone else fulfills the role of witness and makes the learning so much more powerful than it would be if only one individual were spending the week alone.
However, a witness, no matter what the definition, is also a participant in a certain way. The questions which were raised, the conversations which took place, the quiet times and the space of learning were for me, as well as for everyone else. One cannot be in the environment of the Retreat and avoid self reflection. I saw my Conditioned Tendency as others saw theirs; I spoke my truths, albeit silently; I strengthened my resolve to be the person I want to be and not the automatic historical machine that I fall into.
It also made me so proud of what we do. I knew that our work was valuable from my Sunday morning visits. Now I know this at an even deeper level, and I am so grateful that we have all come together to offer this opportunity to those who choose to take advantage of it.
At November's Retreat
At the upcoming workshop, November 5-12, we will welcome Alison Shaw and Ann Marie Turo.
Alison Shaw is a Nurse Practitioner, Licensed Massage Therapist, Certified Energy Healer and graduate of the Barbara Brennan School of Healing. Over 25 years practicing and teaching in conventional and alternative medicine she has developed Re~Sourcing Therapy, a multidimensional healing approach combining energy healing, body-centered counseling, and integrative bodywork.
Ann Marie will be the somatic coach and yoga instructor. She is a certified Occupational Therapist and has devoted her professional life to helping those in her care lead more healthy and productive lives.
Contributions
Dear Matt,
I've been thinking about you and my experience in Georgetown and want to let you know how transformed I feel even after one week in NYC. My moods change everyday. The first couple of days I was high as a kite, bubbling and chattering about the week. Then things settled, I felt somewhat let down bordering on sadness. My reaction was, of course, this is only to be expected, have patience!!! I heard your laughter in my mind and the mood quietly passed. These last days are balanced. I am quietly worked and living with a feeling a wholeness and calm.
Thank you for giving what you give and being who you are.
With love and respect, Natalie
Hello y'all!!
I have some very exciting news I want to share with y'all! I have been selected to participate in the the Lance Armstrong Foundation's "LIVESTRONG Summit" in October. LAF has offered me a full scholarship to attend!!
What is the LIVESTRONG Summit, you ask?? I took this directly from their letter to me: ...."the LIVESTRONG Summit, which will take place on October 27-29, 2006, in Austin, Texas. Through the LIVESTRONG Summit, the Lance Armstrong Foundation (LAF) will lead a survivorship movement to broaden awareness and impact the unmet physical, emotional and practical needs of people living with cancer."
I am so excited and honored to be able to participate in this! For more information on the Summit or the Lance Armstrong Foundation you can go to www.livestrong.org. It's a great site and very informative. As a survivor you can not only get information and read/hear stories of other survivors, but you can also share your story there as well. And you can learn about opportunities like the LIVESTRONG Summit...so, go on, log on, what do you have to lose? It's one of the best websites available to cancer survivors and caregivers as well.
Best regards to all!
Deb McIntosh
In the Distance
By MJT
In the distance there's a rustling
But you are too busy to hear
The winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
You zip through each day
With ego holding your ear
But the winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
The wind picks up in velocity
Leaves and branches call in the air
The winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
Deep inside you feel the change coming
But block it out with noise, busyness
and the things you hold dear
But the winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
The breeze becomes more forceful
Insistent that you hear
The winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
Ego still hopeful that things will stay the same
Blocks your intuition with what you long to hear
But the winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
Now in the midst of a gale
You try desperately to hold your illusions near
But the winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
Hurricane winds buffet you
Screaming "when will you hear?"
The winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
In the eye of the storm you look deep within
And suddenly it's there, the answer you
were looking for is singing in the air
The winds of change are coming
To be met with courage or fear
The storm blows over
You are safe and still here
Change has come upon you
To be met with courage or fear