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December Newsletter
Reflections on a Year of Retreats
By Matthew Budd
We had six wonderful Retreats this year, made wonderful by your presence and hard work.
We had wonderful guest leaders: Sean Kernan, Elizabeth Opalenik, Bernie Steinberg, and our staff of Connie, Santerre, Molly, Kat, Lindsay, Natasha, Kara, and Lora were magnificent guides for us all.
But the major credit for a year of blessings goes to each of you. You seized the opportunity of declaring the misfortune of your illness a "wake up call." You used the illness and the Retreat to reflect, examine, declare, and move into new life spaces. For this you have my deepest admiration and love. You are warriors for life.
You know, each of us spends the early part of our lives building a "persona". This may include career, family, public identity, relations with friends and family. But is may also include routines that we have built to hide our shadow side. By shadow side I mean the unresolved conflicts from early life, culture, and the collective that we carry inside us. This shadow side is often filled with negative emotion like fear, resentment, anger, embarrassment, hopelessness and other forms of pain.
We each have a shadow side, that is, the experience that I have of myself and everyone that I have met. The problem is that this shadow side saps us of energy as we construct a persona to hide it. It robs us of true love and the authenticity of a child.
This would all be well enough if the shadow side was tamed by the persona, but it is not so. The shadow side has great power in determining our life. We remain inauthentic to it; we think we hide it, but it governs us, it hides us and causes us and others deep hurt and pain when it is activated.
I suspect deeply that it also damages our health and well-being.
That is why we need to bring it into the light of the present and make psychological peace with it.
That is just what we begin to do at the Retreats. The Request-Decline and Negative Assessment exercises reveal hidden fears. The body work shows us imbedded tensions in an inescapable way. Our relationship to learning and change brings fears and insecurities to light. Our creative work, especially photography, allows us to objectify and "see" our shadow as just a shadow. All of this work together does open the possibility of a new orientation. We build a community of compassion to allow this to happen and be witnessed.
Our spiritual work helps us to tap into something bigger than our shadow and persona, something much more powerful and mysterious and vast. Universal energy and archetype begin to be experienced.
And the possibility of transformation, of true resurrection of the spirit begins to emerge. Out of your work. As a manifestation of what was always present in each of us, but has been forgotten.
At this holiday season I want to deeply acknowledge each of you for embarking on a "heroine's journey." I urge you to stay on the path with daily practices and learning. I declare myself as your permanent resource when you stray. And…
I pray for the well being of our team, and strength in my own personal, and not without its travails, journey.
Matt
Dear Friends
By Sean Kernan
It has been a few weeks since we met, and I have thought about each of you often. Most of all what I have taken away from the week in Maine is a startling sense of how quickly things can happen in a person once they stop putting energy into holding everything in place. I'm sure that each of you experienced something a bit different in terms of specifics, but that's what I saw from the outside, rapid movement in all kinds of directions once the sense of restraint was lifted.
Of course, the only thing I feel qualified to comment on is what you did with photography, but that reflects everything else that went on. It wasn't about the pictures, it was about the seeing that released them, the sense of presence that filled the photos.
These days I think much more about the fact of seeing, of being awake, than what is in the pictures, the so-called "subject matter." And when I look at great photographs, it is the seeing, unencumbered by over-thinking, that makes them great, not the technique. (Let's face it, photography is pretty easy to get started with...which is why it was useful to us.)
So you'll see that, if this is my attitude, I don't really care if any of you ever take another photo. Although it is clearly there for you to use, I care more that you continue to see, which is also my wish for myself. If it turns up as a photo, fine, but it can also manifest as just something you know from then on. It can be you.
That said, I promised my last words to you in an email, and here they are. They are ostensibly about photography, but you can apply them as you wish to anything at all.
1. Use your notebook, it particularly to jot down images you can't stop to take, and things that are not necessarily photographs but that are still tell you something.
2. Translate. That is, take one of your best photos, or one of someone else's, and redo it some other way, trying to say the same thing but in a different way.
3. Write down the story that emerges from someone else's photo. Tell in a few sentences what it is that the image conjures in your mind, and extend it through time beyond the frame before you. Where do the people in the picture go when they leave? Use your imagination.
4. Take a picture you like, and then make a picture that rhymes with it visually. Similarity, contrast, shapes, color, anything. Put them side by side. Do another, etc. See where it takes you.
5. Shoot the same thing again and again. Make a project and return to it over and over. This is, I think, the key to everything. Your work will naturally deepen and refine with this simple approach, and your vision will reveal itself as you work. Let this process and it's rhythm tell you where to go. See your pictures are footprints, and head for wherever the toes are pointing.
6. Learn to enjoy the plateaus as much as the peaks. The work is done on the plateaus and manifests on the peaks. They are the same thing.
7. Listen.
In the end, be regular and rhythmical, and don't wait for inspiration. Think of inspiration as arising out of doing, rather than precipitating the doing. (Of course, it also arises out of what appears to be silence.)
This time next week I will be on a plane for France, but just before I go I have to give a talk to a group of photographers, and I will speak to them of you, particularly of what I learned from you.
I send you my love and best wishes.
Sean
Short About Retreat Alum in Career Focus Magazine
Janet Johnson’s three children inspired her to begin taking photos. Like many parents she found joy in recording the passage of time in their lives. She started to get serious about photography after her sister presented her with her first professional camera because she thought that Janet had an “eye for it.”
Her approach to photography was transformed when she took a class with Elizabeth Opalenik at the F. Holland Day Center for Creativity and Healing in Maine while Johnson recovered from breast cancer. She began to see photography as more than portraiture: It became a new way to see light, dark, moments, and the world. Opalenik suggested that Johnson continue her study at WCC.
“When I’m behind the camera it’s just me and the lens. The world can be my canvas and I interpret what I see. It’s helped me see the beauty in things and enjoy life. Photography has helped me heal,” says Johnson.
Johnson has taken two classes at WCC and her horizons keep broadening. “I love night time photography,” says Johnson. “There’s a sweet light at dusk. The world is different at night.”
Before Johnson had children she was a social worker. There were times at that job where it was hard to see the beauty in everyday life. But through her photography she captures the tender, the unique, and the small moments that are here for just an instant. “Photography is a passion that I’ve found. The instructors at WCC are so enthusiastic and generous to share their expertise. I want to make photography my career for the rest of my life’s journey,” says Johnson.
Article, “Photography is part of her journey” written by Career Focus magazine writer, ES.
The Practice of Being Centered and Present
By Lora Cecca Lyons
Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free:
Stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.
– Chuang-Tzu
Outwardly the samurai stands in physical readiness for any call to service, and inwardly, he strives to fulfill the Way. – Rysaku Tsunado
Distinction of Center: A place to come home to that is most reliable in a world of constant change and movement; you can always count on the place of center. Being centered is an energetic presence that is achieved through practice. We move from center when we are connected to what we care about.
When centered in the body, we are energetically grounded, relaxed, fully present to the situation, we move from our belly (or hara), and are physically centered in length, width and depth.
To practice living powerfully and finding center through our body:
Stand in a horse stance. Feet are hip distance apart and weight is evenly distributed between both feet. Your heart is open, knees are slightly bent and pelvis slightly tucked in.
Breathe deeply through your belly. With each deep exhalation, let go of any tension.
Lengthen your neck and spine, feel your feet on the ground and let energy run throughout your body and your limbs. Let your shoulders drop.
Expand your width by feeling your energy flowing throughout your arms and extending out through your finger tips so that your arms are not limp or stiff.
When you move, lead from your belly (or haragei – Japanese for belly art).
Some suggestions on how to shift to a state of relaxation and incorporate a centering and grounding practice into your daily life:
When the phone rings, let it ring 2 or 3 times before picking up. Use the ringing as a reminder to attend to your breath and re-center yourself.
Every time you pass through a doorway, check your length, width and depth and re-center yourself.
When you are waiting at a red light, breathe deeply.
While waiting in line at the store, bring your attention to your breath and notice your feet touching the ground.
Article by Past Participant, Mary Jo Taylor, Featured in the Fall Edition of Maine Woman's Journal
Cancer: the word instills fear in each of us. It was no different for me when, at age 38, this diagnosis was attached to my name.
As I sat trembling and sobbing I could feel my "path" blow up in my face. My perception of the world changed forever. With two words, "incurable cancer," I allowed the doctor to strip hope from my life, but still a small flame of it burned deep inside of me, urging me on.
These last five years have led me on a path which all of us try to avoid at any cost. My journey has been riddled with landmines but I have also had the opportunity to meet some of the most wonderful people on this path.
I was fortunate enough to attend a Healing Retreat for People with Cancer in Georgetown Maine. That week changed the course of my life, just as my cancer diagnosis did all those years ago. At 43, still undergoing treatment for multiple myeloma, I had lost all aspects of myself. I was living in fear, no longer an active participant in life. Hope seemed like a distant memory. I thought I was forever to be just a cancer patient. The retreat made me see that I could continue with my life and even enhance the treatment I was undergoing. The world did not see me as simply a cancer patient, this was only my perception. I also realized that the path I thought had blown up was never really there. I create a new path each and every day and have control over where I want to go. These simple realizations have allowed me to move forward and see that there is possibility and hope after cancer, all is never lost. Life is to be enjoyed minute by minute.
The retreats were founded in 2004 by Dr. Matthew Budd and Connie Reider, professional photographer and cancer survivor. In >the 1960s when Dr. Budd graduated from medical school, a diagnosis of cancer was a death sentence. This is no longer true, many patients now live long and full lives. During 35 years of practicing medicine and teaching at Harvard Medical School, Dr. Budd designed a program utilizing spiritual, psychological and emotional learning. He now uses this synergistic approach to healing at week long residential retreats. The rocky shore of Maine is the perfect setting to combine these ideas with immersion in creative arts to assist the participants in mobilizing their own unconscious healing powers.
After being diagnosed with breast cancer, Connie Reider created a book entitled In Shadow and Light…Looking for the Gifts of Cancer (Bay Publishing). She used her photography to express the changes she was experiencing and the words to give life to her thoughts and emotions. Connie now shares these techniques with participants at each retreat. She also invites a nationally known guest artist to be in-residence at each retreat.
During my week-long stay I was surrounded by love and kindness. My every need was taken care of. I could not recall a time in my life when I felt so accepted and wanted. I was now ready to allow hope back into my life. My wish is that each and every cancer survivor who reads this story and feels it resonate within them will take a momentous step forward and attend this life-changing retreat.
Mary Jo Taylor is a lifelong resident of Westbrook, Maine. She was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in 2001, and has since researched alternative and complementary therapies in conjunction with traditional medicine. She offers consultations through her company, Resources for Natural Healing, to others who wish to try this approach.
To read a poem that Mary Jo wrote during a retreat she attended, please see the contributions section of this newsletter.
Contributions
As I make my way in the world today, it does not look any different than yesterday
There is not a new job, new house or new relationships.
My soul feels true today, feels committed to this day, and with eyes that refuse to back off,
and breathe that continues to give me life that says, I have arrived at the autumn of my life. Sing.
With pictures on my walls and flowers on the table, music abounds, and in my red living room, I shall nest.
My work space just may take on that mirror for me to watch my back, or maybe not, I'll have to see
if it fits my décor.
My friends and family, I will love with gentleness that affects their comfort zone.
If my children call today, and ask me questions about life, my feet
are planted deep in salty waters to feed their souls.
For Maddy and Jack, to make them giggle, give them unconditional love,
All I want is for them to be oh so proud to have me in their lives.
This song that I sing will surely get off key, and I shall forget the words,
but not the voice that resonates to the birches in the woods
at the beginning in the autumn of my life.
By MJT from article
Hope springs from a molten center
Within my core
Hope courses through
Every cell in my being
And brings renewed strength to my spirit
Hope overshadows my doubts and fears
And frees me to continue through
The minefield of life
Hope pumps “nutrients” into my bloodstream
To nourish my soul
Hope lifts the veil of darkness
And allows the sun’s rays to penetrate
Hope makes all things possible,
Dreams are suddenly within reach
Hope is what I wake to every morning
And what lulls me to slumber at day’s end
Hope, nothing magical, not expensive
But some days all I have to get by on
Hope, totally about and for me
Never to be snatched away by anyone
Hope is all I need
This
year,
I would
like to put
up a tree in my
heart, and instead
of hanging presents,
I would like to put the
names of all my friends,
especially those from the Retreat.
The old friends - the new friends,
the ones that I rarely see. The ones
that I always remember and the ones that
I sometimes forget. The ones that are always
there and the ones that seldom are. The friends of
difficult times and the ones of happy times. Friends
who, without meaning to, I have hurt, or, without meaning
to have hurt me. Those that I know well and those I only know
by name. Those that owe me little and those that I owe so much.
The names of all those that have passed through my life no matter
how fleetingly. A tree with very deep roots and very long and strong
branches so that their names
may never be plucked from
my heart. So that the new
names from all over may join
the existing ones. A tree with
a very pleasant shade so that our friendship may
take a moment of rest from the battles of life. "May
the happy moments of the holiday season brighten
every day of the new year." These are my sincere wishes.
Thank you for your friendship, your love & acceptance.
By J.T.